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Da Grinch Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck Taxed Chrizzle
Every Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck Down up in Whoville Liked Chrizzle all muthafuckin day... But tha Grinch,Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck lived just uptown of Whoville, Did NOT! Da Grinch hated Chrizzle! Da whole Chrizzle season! Now, please don't ask why. No one like knows tha reason. It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right. It could be, like, dat his Nikes was too tight. But I be thinkin dat da most thugged-out likely reason of all, May done been dat his thugged-out ass was two sizes too small. Whatever tha reason, His ass or his shoes, Dude stood there on Chrizzle Eve, hatin tha Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fucks, Starin down from his cave wit a sour, Grinchy frown, At tha warm lighted windows below up in they town. For he knew every last muthafuckin Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck down up in Whoville beneath, Was busy now, hangin a mistletoe wreath. "And they hangin they stockings!" da perved-out muthafucka snarled wit a sneer, "Tomorrow is Chrizzle! It aint nuthin but practically here!" Then he growled, wit his Grinch fingers nervously drumming, "I MUST find some way ta stop Chrizzle from coming!" For Tomorrow, he knew, all tha Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck hoes n' thugs, Would wake bright n' early. They'd rush fo' they toys! And then! Oh, tha noise biaaatch! Oh, tha Noise! Noise biaaatch! Noise biaaatch! Noise! Thatz one thang dat schmoooove muthafucka hated hommie! Da NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! Then tha Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fucks, lil' n' old, would sit tha fuck down ta a gangbangin' feast. And they'd feast son! And they'd feast son! And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! They would feast on Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck-pudding, n' rare Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck-roast beast. Which was suttin' tha Grinch couldn't stand up in tha least! And THEN They'd do suttin' Dude was horny bout least of all! Every Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck down up in Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuckville, tha tall n' tha small, Would stand close together, wit Chrizzle bells ringing. They'd stand hand-in-hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! And tha Whos would start rappin! They'd sing! And they'd sing! And they'd SING! SING! SING! SING! And tha mo' tha Grinch thought of dis Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck ChrizzleBust a rap, Da mo' tha Grinch thought, "I must stop dis whole thang!" "Why, fo' fifty-three muthafuckin years I've put up wit it now!" "I MUST stop dis Chrizzle from coming! But HOW?" Then he gots a idea! An wack idea! THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA! "I know just what tha fuck ta do!" Da Grinch laughed up in his cold-ass throat. And he done cooked up a quick Santy Claus basebizzle cap n' a cold-ass lil coat. And his schmoooove ass chuckled, n' clucked, "What a pimped out Grinchy trick!" "With dis coat n' dis hat, I look just like Saint Nick!" "All I need be a reindeer..." Da Grinch looked around. But, since reindeer is scarce, there was none ta be found. Did dat stop tha oldschool Grinch, biatch? No! Da Grinch simply holla'd, "If I can't find a reindeer, I be bout ta make one instead!" So his schmoooove ass called his fuckin lil' dog, Max. Then tha pimpin' muthafucka took some red thread, And tha pimpin' muthafucka tied a funky-ass big-ass horn on tha top of his head. THEN Dude loaded some bags And some oldschool empty sacks, On a ramshackle sleigh And dat schmoooove muthafucka hitched up oldschool Max. Then tha Grinch holla'd, "Giddap!" And tha sleigh started down, Toward tha cribs where tha Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fucks Lay asnooze up in they town. All they windows was dark. Quiet snow filled tha air. All tha Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fucks was all trippin dope trips without care. When his schmoooove ass came ta tha straight-up original gangsta lil doggy den on tha square. "This is stop number one," tha oldschool Grinchy Claus hissed, And his schmoooove ass climbed ta tha roof, empty bags up in his wild lil' fist. Then da perved-out muthafucka slid down tha chimney fo' realz. A rather tight pinch. But, if Gangsta could do it, then so could tha Grinch. Dude gots stuck only once, fo' a moment or two. Then da perved-out muthafucka stuck his head outta tha fireplace flue. Where tha lil Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck stockings all hung up in a row. "These stockings," he grinned, "are tha straight-up original gangsta thangs ta go!" Then da perved-out muthafucka slithered n' slunk, wit a smile most unpleasant, Around tha whole room, n' tha pimpin' muthafucka took every last muthafuckin present! Pop guns muthafucka! And bicycles muthafucka! Rolla skates muthafucka! Drums! Checkerboardz muthafucka! Tricycles muthafucka! Popcorn! And plums! And da perved-out muthafucka stuffed dem up in bags. Then tha Grinch, straight-up nimbly, Stuffed all tha bags, one by one, up tha chimney! Then da perved-out muthafucka slunk ta tha icebox yo. Dude took tha Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fucks' feast! Dude took tha Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck-pudding! Dude took tha roast beast! Dude cleaned up dat icebox as quick as a gangbangin' flash. Why, dat Grinch even took they last can of Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck-hash! Then da perved-out muthafucka stuffed all tha chicken up tha chimney wit glee. "And NOW!" grinned tha Grinch, "I'ma shiznit up tha tree!" And tha Grinch grabbed tha tree, n' da perved-out muthafucka started ta shove, When dat schmoooove muthafucka heard a lil' small-ass sound like tha coo of a thugged-out dove. Dude turned round fast, n' da perved-out muthafucka saw a lil' small-ass Who! Little Cindy-Lou Who, whoz ass was not mo' than two. Da Grinch had been caught by dis tiny Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck daughter, Who'd gots outta bed fo' a cold-ass lil cup of cold water. Bitch stared all up in tha Grinch n' holla'd, "Santy Claus, why," "Why is you takin our Chrizzle tree, biatch? WHY?" But, you know, dat oldschool Grinch was so smart-ass n' so slick, Dude thought up a lie, n' tha pimpin' muthafucka thought it up quick! "Why, mah dope lil tot," tha fake Santy Claus lied, "Therez a light on dis tree dat won't light on one side." "So I be takin it home ta mah workshop, mah dear." "I be bout ta fix it up there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Then I be bout ta brang it back here." And his wild lil' fib fooled tha child. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Then he patted her head, And he gots her a thugged-out drank n' da perved-out muthafucka busted her ta bed. And when CindyLou Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck went ta bed wit her cup, HE went ta tha chimney n' stuffed tha tree up! Then tha last thang tha pimpin' muthafucka took Was tha log fo' they fire! Then da thug went up tha chimney, his dirty ass, tha oldschool liar. On they walls he left not a god damn thang but hooks n' some wire. And tha one speck of chicken That he left up in tha house, Was a cold-ass lil crumb dat was even too lil' small-ass fo' a mouse. Then Dude did tha same thang To tha other Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fucks' houses Leavin crumbs Much too lil' small-ass For tha other Whos' mouses! Dat shiznit was quarter past dawn.. fo' realz. All tha Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fucks, still a-bed, All tha Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fucks, still asnooze When he packed up his sled, Packed it up wit they presents muthafucka! Da ribbons muthafucka! Da wrappings! Da tags muthafucka! And tha tinsel! Da trimmings muthafucka! Da trappings! Three thousand feet up! Up tha side of Mt. Crumpit, Dude rode wit his fuckin load ta tha tiptop ta dump dat shiznit son! "PoohPooh ta tha Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fucks!" da thug was grinchishly humming. "They're findin up now dat no Chrizzle is coming!" "They're just wakin up! I know just what tha fuck they'll do!" "Their grills will hang open a minute or two, Then tha Whos down up in Whoville will all cry BooHoo!" "Thatz a noise," grinned tha Grinch, "That I simply MUST hear!" So he paused. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! And tha Grinch put his hand ta his wild lil' fuckin ear. And da ruffneck did hear a sound risin over tha snow. It started up in low. Then it started ta grow. But tha sound wasn't fucked up hommie! Why, dis sound sounded merry! It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry dawwwwg! VERY! Dude stared down at Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuckville biaaatch! Da Grinch popped his wild lil' fuckin eyes! Then da perved-out muthafucka shook! What da perved-out muthafucka saw was a shockin surprise! Every Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck down up in Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuckville, tha tall n' tha small, Was rappin! Without any presents at all! Dude HADN'T stopped Chrizzle from coming! IT CAME! Somehow or other, it came just tha same! And tha Grinch, wit his wild lil' freakadelic grinch-feet ice-cold up in tha snow, Stood puzzlin n' puzzling: "How tha fuck could it be so?" "It came wit up ribbons muthafucka! It came without tags!" "It came without packages, boxes or bags!" And he puzzled three hours, till his thugged-out lil' puzzla was sore. Then tha Grinch thought of suttin' dat schmoooove muthafucka hadn't before! "Maybe Chrizzle," tha pimpin' muthafucka thought, "doesn't come from a store." "Maybe Chrizzle...like...means a lil bit more!" And what tha fuck happened then, biatch? Well...in Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuckville they say, That tha Grinchz lil' small-ass ass Grew three sizes dat day! And tha minute his thugged-out ass didn't feel like so tight, Dude whizzed wit his fuckin load all up in tha bright mornin light, And his thugged-out lil' punk-ass brought back tha toys muthafucka! And tha chicken fo' tha feast! And he, HE HIMSELF! Da Grinch carved tha roast Category:Wall of Text Category:Dr. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suess